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The current year represents a ten-year milestone since the word “ghosting” hit the common lexicon. Initially, the concept that someone could abruptly cease all contact with a romantic interest without explanation seemed like the peak of rudeness. How naive we were. In the decade since, seeking a significant other has only become more perplexing – an oftentimes pointless exercise in embarrassment that is increasingly pigeonholed by social media lingo.

Gen Z, a demographic who grew up during a loneliness epidemic, a masculinity crisis, and a concerted challenge on the rights of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a infinitely more complex terrain than their millennial elders could ever envision. And so their dating lexicon has grown longer and more deranged, with phrases like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” testing the boundaries of your sanity.

Below is a detailed breakdown to the terms gen Z is using to talk about romance, intimacy and the search of both. To channel one of the recent most enduring memes, by the conclusion of this list you’ll ache to get back to a bygone era – because wherever that is, it lacks “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Realness – In the view of gen Z, romance's gold standard is showing up as your true, unfiltered self. Good luck with that!

B

Bird theory – A social media test loosely based on a methodology developed by relationship scientists, in which you point out something trivial – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s reply is inquisitive or brushed off. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Mysterious girlfriend – Zoomers' answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” trope of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while radiating enigma and independence. (She may yet have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Chair theory – This refers to going for someone who aids you without being asked. If you entered a room, they would get a seat for you to take a load off.

Task-based bonding – A meet-up where two people connect while running errands, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how financially strained twentysomethings do budget-friendly dating in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Crashing out – Melting down when you feel swamped by life. You can lose it over a infatuation or split, spilling all of your unreciprocated emotions.

D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a symbol of 1980s yuppie affluence, it refers to couples who forgo having children to prioritize their own well-being. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

The Letter E

Emotional vibe coding – The opposite of acting aloof: utilizing dialogue, honesty and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Flags

• Red flags – Behavioral habits suggesting a prospective partner is trouble. Examples include calling their former partners unstable, bad tipping habits, a love of controversial director films, a new DJ career …
• Good indicators – These quirks affirm your choice to date a mate. Such as following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal phone use, owning a bed frame …
• Beige flags – These usually describe specific, mostly benign idiosyncrasies. Examples include being an keen ornithologist, still keeping a pen in their purse, paying the rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you connect with someone who’s just as enthusiastic about films about the second world war or DVD collecting or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who loathes the same stuff or people that you do (nothing builds intimacy faster than sharing a nemesis).

The Letter G

Geese – A musical group many young men is into.

Ghostlighting – Someone who reappears into your life after a length of disappearing.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and loyal. The uncommon boyfriend who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's foil.

Gooners – A mostly online community of men so obsessed with masturbation that they attempt extended sessions, intentionally delaying orgasm so they can persist as long as possible.

H

Heterofatalism – A trend describing many women’s increasing despair toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

High-value woman – An archetype touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and contentedly domestic, who seemingly has no goals of her own other than pleasing her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to understand the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Icks – Random and frequently trivial turnoffs that instantly shut down any feelings of interest.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else get an extremely thoughtful gesture.

J

Professions – These have not been this crucial in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ideal catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in fields they see as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: nurses, teachers or counselors.

The Letter K

Making out – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has been around for 16 million years. But the days of locking lips may be waning since some gen Z desire fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic intimacy authentic.

Kittenfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {